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Hello sir, Blessings to your kids. I can understand the lever of dual sexuality you are swinging in. As we all know ,all problems are still can be discussed but sexual problems are rarely discussed. Taboos are up. The problem you were facing for now is: Issues about your sexuality, as u said YOU feel for both boys and girls. 1.You even mentioned, that you tried to control thoughts but not able to compressed. 2 You are confused about sexuality.. straight or gay. 3. Fear of expressing to family and the future perspective. 4. Thoughts affecting normalcy. First of all, be calm. Don't worry much, as an individual you have right to know about your sexuality and people needs to understand the same but firstly be sure about yourself. I would have appreciated, if we're mentioned since how long these thoughts were affecting you. My advice for you would be : 1. Book your session with the psychotherapist and get yourself assessed. 2. Don't feel shy, go for individual sexual counselling sessions. 4. Try to verbalize your problem to the trustworthy person in family and be relaxed. 5. Try to rule out, what made you feel that you are guy. Try to avoid that factor.. If it's a person,try to avoid him for sometime.. 6. Keep yourself physically active by walk, meditation etc. 7. Don't think much about sexuality, this will affect your thought process too. 8. I also prefer you to visit sexologist and follow what he prescribe. Seek help!! It will give you solution.